Lost control of your life?

Lost control of your life?

Over the course of 4 months working with me 1:1, it’s common for a high achieving client to have a period or few where they feel their life is out of control. 

• Commitments are piling up with no end in sight

• Thoughts, emotions & feelings run wild

• Their vision appears unattainable

• Bad news is unrelentingly

When this perspective persists, nervous systems dysregulation typically follows. At which point you can expect; 

• Emotional blow ups (fight) 

• Desire to quit (flight) 

• Perpetual procrastination (freeze) or, 

• Chronically people pleasing (fawn)

Buried deep within the desire for control is a paradox…

You’ve got to give it up to get it.

YES!

The only way to gain control is to let go of it. 

The desire for control is a symptom of living life from the outside in. 

Living life from the outside in means trying to create a life where you experience; more events that give you feelings you judge as good, and less events that give you feelings you judge as bad. 

Read that again. 

Here’s what I mean: 

• My company has just announced a round of layoffs > I feel concerned > bad 

• My public transportation arrived on time > I feel content > good 

• I just landed a deal with a new client > I feel proud > good

• I didn’t get the promotion I deserve  > I feel angry > bad 

Now I’m not saying don’t feel the very natural feeling that arises from any event. 

I’m saying the opposite, feel them MORE. 

Feel them all the way, THEN LET GO!

Because no matter how much you try to create a life full of events that make you feel ‘good’ there will be times when the world has other ideas. 

When the universe offers events that challenge you, this is your opportunity to show up as a powerful self-leader. 

So what’s the alternative?

Yes, you do have a choice! 

Practice living life from the inside out.

Acknowledging and fully feeling your feelings the moment they come in. 

Letting them pass through you and watching them go. 

Truly accepting reality as it is in front of you and loving it just as it is.

The most transformative insights are simple but not easy. 

And I say practice because living life from the inside is just that, a lifelong practice.  

There’s nothing unusual about living life from the outside in, it’s frankly how most people live their life from start to finish. 

Even the best of us get caught up in it. 

If you truly want to be in more in control of your life, this inside out living iis the path

Yours In Service, 

Graham