40 Things I learned About Myself By 40

In celebration of turning 40 last Monday I’m sharing 40 Things I’ve Learned About Myself By 40. 

A Hindu Proverb tells of the ‘The 3 Great Mysteries: Air to a bird, water to a fish, humans to themselves.’

One of the great lies of self-development is we must look outside of ourselves for answers. 

Lord knows I invested 1,000’s of hours looking outside of myself for clarity.

Searching for tips & tricks, habits & hacks, cramming yet more and more information into my mind.

Laozi: “Knowing others is intelligence; knowing yourself is true wisdom. Mastering others is strength; mastering yourself is true power.”

True power is knowing who you are, accepting and loving every aspect of yourself, dissolving self-suffering in the process. 

It’s with great pleasure I get to share with you here some of the most profound and deep insights I have learned about myself, others less profound and more lighthearted. 

Some of these you might be able to relate to, others might make you think I’m crazy. 

Whatever comes up for you, my invitation is to see what you can learn about yourself while reading. 

Enjoy!

1. I care deeply what other people think about me, and my courage comes from embracing that, not avoiding it

1. The less I judge others, the less I judge myself

1. When I have lots of things to do, I’m overly optimistic about how quickly I can do them

1. When I’m obsessively cleaning the house, I’m worried about something

1. My biggest fear is living life without my wife, Sarah

1. Sarah is the only person in this would (currently) I would gladly lay down my life for (I expect that list to grow when our daughter is born is July) 

1. I have no idea how long it takes to get to somewhere from my house

1. Freedom is my highest value 

1. Daily time in introspection keeps me grounded

1. I see rules as guidelines that are meant to be bent and broken to achieve meaningful change

1. Knowing this about myself I must pay close attention to my moral conduct

1. No matter how big I dream I will always underestimate what I’m capable of

1. I enjoy life the most when I play fearlessly 

1. I always feel great after a cry

1. I truly believe with all my being that everyone is capable of achieving more than they can imagine in their wildest dreams

1. Having emotional conversations drains my energy. Avoiding those conversations drains my energy even more in the long run

1. There is a part of me that witnesses everything I see, feel, hear, touch, think, sense and experience. That part of me is ever present, never changing and unconditionally loving of everything in the universe

1. Creating a daily connection with that part of helps me to remember who I really am 

1. Occasionally I meet people for the first time and I sense they will play a powerful role in my life. That instinct is always right. Avoiding forcing the answer as to why is important to finding the answer. 

1. I’m great at setting boundaries

1. To be truly empathetic it’s supports me to literally envision myself in someone else's life and put my whole body there

1. Sometimes a warped fear comes into my mind that I have a mental illness everyone else in the world knows about except for me. When this story crops up, I can laugh and say ‘thanks for the story, but it’s not True’

1. I spent a lot of my life competing against every man I ever met

1. I spent a lot of my life seeking love from every woman I ever met 

1. Creating awareness around when 23 and 24 show up and changing course has changed the course of my life and been my gateway to True freedom

1. Mens work works on me 

1. I believe everyone has unconditional love at their core, anything else that shows up is a conditioned pattern

1. I will always be on the side of the oppressed, regardless of logic or reason

1. Faith is more important to me than facts 

1. I have a general distrust of authority

1. I’m only good to hang out with other people for 2-3 hours, after that I need time alone

1. Pursuing comfort never feels satisfying

1. Resting supports me to be fit for service 

1. I’m always trying my best

1. I’m heavily influenced by people I spend my time around (myself included); this can be a gift or a curse

1. Small talk drains my energy 

1. Laughter is my lifeforce 

1. The deepest connections I have made with others are created the moment I meet them

1. The world is inviting me to bring more of who I am on the inside, to the outside. That really is my only task in life

1. I have a powerful inner guide that often invites me to take risks. When I listen, things work out for the best

What I think is cool about these insights is that no one was able to teach them to me. 

Powerful coaches, guides and meteors have helped pull some of them out of me - a heartfelt thank you to them all. 

Ultimately I was the one that had to wade around in the depth of myself to find these insights. 

I’d love to hear from you with 1 thing you have learned about yourself - this is my invitation to you to find your edge…

Why not hit reply and share - if you prefer to message me on WhatsApp, here’s my digits +447795023532.

Yours In Service, 

Graham